


The birds and the bees

by SWModdy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Qui-Gon gives Obi-Wan the talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn has to do his duty and give his padawan the talk. There are anatomical handpuppets involved.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Les choux et les roses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803956) by [Perspicacia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perspicacia/pseuds/Perspicacia)



“…Master, I understand you’re going to give me a lesson.” Obi-Wan glanced at the hand puppets on the table before twisting to look over the back of the sofa. “But what in Force name is Master Windu and Master Yoda doing here?”

Qui-Gon took a deep breath then shot them a glare over Obi-Wan’s head. “They are here padawan, because they are both twats.” He offered rather flatly, his face smoothing out.

“…That’s a bad word Master.”

“Yes, language Master Jinn.” Mace smirked and then settled back to watch the hilarity, wishing he had brought snacks.

“Get on with the lesson you should Qui-Gon.” Yoda huffed. “Make sure of no inaccuracy I will.”

Qui-Gon growled a bit then rubbed his face. “…Obi-Wan, before we start, I warn you, I have locked the entire apartment down and you will not be leaving until we finish.”

That caused a confused and worried blink to come from Obi-Wan before he nodded.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. “Obi-Wan, you are now fifteen, and with that age in humans, you reach an age of change.”

His padawan blinked before suddenly turning bug eyed, a flush covering his face and ears. “M-Master we already had the puberty talk! I swear I remember it.”

“Yes, we did.” For a moment Obi-Wan thought he was of the hook.

“But this is sexual education.”

The sound produced from Obi-Wan’s throat could have been mistaken for a mouse being stepped on.

Qui-Gon almost smiled. Almost.

“When a man loves a woman. Or another man. Or a wookie-”

“A wookie!?” Obi-Wan squeaked.

“Don’t judge anothers preference Obi-Wan, we’re all different and Jedi are not to pass judgment. Anyhow, where was I…oh yes! When they loves someone, they might experience certain urges.” Qui-Gon locked his fingers together on his lap.

Obi-Wan wanted to slide into the floor or fade into the Force. Little gods…

“These urges are to be handled responsibly of course, as everything else in our lives but they are not to be denied as that can be just as harmful. There are multiple ways to self-pleasure though for the day we will be covering intimate couples.”

Obi-Wan slid down on the couch, staring at his master. He didn’t need to have a conversation about masturbation! He knew quite well how to mingle with the Banking clan thank you very much!

“Now, when a man loves a woman.” And then to Obi-Wan’s horror he lifted one of the puppets.

“I didn’t know they made anatomically correct hand puppets.” Mace mused.

“Impressed I am.”

“Oh little Force gods save me…”

“Obi-Wan, pay attention please.”


End file.
